So we’re 3 weeks in and it’s time for an update on the general physical health of the crew. Before we left NZ the team at Bodytech Viaduct had been tasked with turning our pub fir bodies in to something that would get across the Indian Ocean...no easy job i assure you especialy given our lifestyles up to that point. Thanks to Jay, Ferg and the amazing team of instructors they did a pretty fab job and with Dave Woodbridge on hand to help crunch, massage and pull the various muscles and bones back in to shape we left NZ as ready as we could be for the challenge ahead – although i will never forget Dave’s comments to me after having my body balance\ test when he commented that if i were a car i would almost certainly fail my WOF (MOT)...charming.
Anyway 3 weeks in to the challenge and here’s a quick update o n how we are all fairing and how the bodies are holding up, some slightly older more weary bodies than others!
Communal team problems/afflictions include the following:
- Sore lower backs and shoulders, presumably from the make shift rowing style we’ve adopted
- Mild forms of leprosy
- Widespread coverage of blisters on hands and feet – all desperately attractive stuff
- First signs of claw hands
- Return of adolescent skin problems
- Sea salt sores all over the body – impossible to control but even more difficult to heal!
- Barnacles – let’s just say that the boat isn’t the only under carriage where these seem to be growing! I will refrain from naming which members are suffering from this but let’s just say it’s a rather uncomfortable condition but sudocrem is on to it!
Pete:
Aside from the above he has been suffering a mild form of arthritis in his knee, although he would have us believe it was a bang. His chaffing started off with a bang but has since been bought under control although he tells me his right butt cheek is very tender! Claims not to have any blisters on the hands but then his work load wouldn’t produce any...
Aside from that he, along with Tom is right up there in terms of flatulence but on a challenge like this all wind is good wind in my books...just wish it wasn’t in the cabin.
Beard update: good all round coverage and on his way to looking every bit David Bellamy’s long lost son.
Tom
Now then where to start with dear Tom. Let’s just say he lives with his nose in the medical kit and is slowly but surely making his way through all the potions, plasters and pots of cream on board. Specific highlights of his problems include:
- Still king of the chafe/nappy rash with a bottom that looks more like a dart board every day. Currently wears more sudocrem than he does sun cream and can’t see this diminishing for a while.
- Tom is also a frequent user of the anti flam for any number of twinges, pulls or just imaginary tweaks. Currently the main areas of concern for him include his ribs, shoulders and back...which only really leaves his legs but as we’re not using them he would do well to hurt them!
Beard update: Tom looks every bit the seasoned beardie and is definitely the most at home with this Neanderthal look and way of life. Looks like a well behaved beard that knows when to stop, if that makes any sense.
Matt
Like Tom he really struggled with the old bottom early on but the endless ‘dous fous’ sessions with our friend sudocrem seem to have sorted this out and he now tells me all is well in that department. Aside from the aches and sprains that everyone else seems to be suffering he seems to be in pretty good health – although the return of the adolescent skin dramas did haunt him for a while...but no longer!
Beard update: without  doubt the least comfortable of the 4 of us about this beard business – the words ‘it’s disgusting, it’s smelly, it’s unhygienic and it’ s got to go’ can often be heard coming from his quarters. Personally i’m not convinced the beard will make the distance but there will be huge forfeits to pay if it doesn’t!
Billy
Kind of difficult writing about yourself like this but all i will say is that i to have suffered similar dramas to the rest but thankfully my bottom has a much smaller surface area so i’m thinking that’s why i haven’t been affected so much in this department...yet.  i should at this stage mention a special thanks to mum for supplying the team sudocrem and Emma from Bodytech for the chaffing cream – so nice to know you cared so much about our bums!
Beard update: probably the one most in danger of being completely consumed by the beard as it seems to be out of control and we’re only in week 4! One of the lads has already commented that i look like i have a ferrit strapped to my face so i’m thinking it must be looking a bit wild. One thing’s for sure, i was eating a spag bol the other night and lost a bit of pasta on the way from plate to mouth and i’m now beginning to wonder whether it’s in the beard...
Oh and just for the record no ginga hairs in sight, so sorry to all hose of you who wanted to hear differently!
Other stuff
Today was a pretty good day on the oars and i reckon we will have clocked up 55+ miles. Early on conditions were placid again but things picked up late pm and continued through the night making rowing a tad more treacherous but far more rewarding. Temperatures reached early 30’s and the breeze picked up to 10-15 knots during the night with swells on the rise. 
Aside from that we had our 3rd party night to mark our 3rd week on Glenda. This week Bex had worked her magic to rustle up some footage from various friends and family who had recorded messages of support – a sensational touch and so nice to get a reminder of so many familiar faces. In addition there was the obligatory naked picture courtesy of Mr.Llewellyn, much appreciated also, and a card from Scales – and Scales you’ll be glad to know we are already well in the Bee Gees routine as per your request and our particular favourite seems to be the aptly titles ‘Staying Alive’. Anyway all gratefully received and once again the perfect tonic to launch in to week 4.
Just looked at the skies and something tells me change is afoot...will let you all know tomorrow but until then happy Sunday and have a great week one and all.

More of the same really as far as weather and general rowing conditions were concerned. Hand pumping is still all the rage out here and so it was we started it all over again at 9am thinking we had another 8 hours of gun building exercise/work out ahead of us again, all for a drop of the sacred water – if only we could add a twist of lemon to this stuff instead of a twist of salt. That said, and with all due respect to the likes of Waiwera, Volvic and Evian there’s no taste sweeter than water you have to sweat over to make yourself, no matter how revolting it might be in reality.
With the rise of the sun came a very eerie drop in the wind. It was calm last night but as dawn broke there wasn’t a breath to be felt in the air –may be this was what it felt like to be in the doldrums, but whatever it was very very strange. With a drop like this comes the reality that rowing is going to be even harder and every mile earned as opposed to gifted , not the best when you’re having to hand pump as well.
Temperatures quickly soared in to the mid 30’s and was unrelenting with Pete and I next to naked by 9am on the oars  - we still have too much respect for Gary and friends(and we’re not sure how old the ‘little dudes’ are as well although Matthew seems to be getting rather close to one of them) to row completely in the buff but something tells me it won’t be long...may be when we catch up with the girls (don’t worry Bex and Michelle I will make sure Tom and Pete are well covered!).  Surrounded by crystal clear waters and piercing blue skies you could be forgiven for thinking this was a scene out of some paradise movie. This would of course be true if you were on an island resort with ice cold coke on tap (and chocolate muffins) and where the height of your daily exercise involved putting on your beach robe or towelling yourself dry after a swim. For us however it was to prove particularly unforgiving with the sweat merrily pouring off us and with nowhere to hide aside from the cabins which themselves were a cool 40 degrees...not to mention coated in sudocrem. Once again however i wouldn’t have it any other way, although the as i write this i am looking out of the cabin where Tom has decided it’s time to air his manhood...mmm not sure i signed up to that kind of behaviour!
With little or no assistance from the elements, a pond like calmness all around and no legs to help power us along we struggled to get Glenda much above 1.5knots and just hoped the other teams were experiencing similar conditions – but even then at least they had legs. None the less we stuck at it and thanks to some motivational support from the likes of Bonnie Tyler singing ‘I need a hero’ and Meat Loaf’s ‘Like a bat of hell’ we still managed to make reasonable, if a little sluggish, headway.
 Far from wanting to sound like this is all one big negative let me reassure you every step backwards, every piece of bad news and every new obstacle sent our way merely adds to the excitement around this challenge. This team is such that with every kick we seem to get stronger and once again after a few hours of sombre reflection yesterday we were all back buzzing and raring to get over this latest hurdle! Days like today really open your eyes to just how beautiful this place is and just how lucky we are to be taking part in an adventure such as this. We have no idea what’s in store for us over the coming weeks but i’m sure Neptune has a few more tricks up his sleeve that will again test our resolve.
At about 10.30am today we were given some unbelievably good news. Pete & I were slugging it out on the oars and Matt was hard at work on the hand pump when suddenly our on board multimeter read 100% power – one minute prior and it was still reading mid 50% and thoughts of another 2 days of hand pumping were fast becoming a reality. How and why it suddenly went to full charge we will never know and right now i don’t give a fig because it’s real and suddenly we are back to full power...HAPPY HAPPY DAYS! Suddenly we have water, we have GPS and we the ability to access email...woooohooooooooo.
To celebrate we did something quite outrageous...rowed...and then rowed again and again and again. At the end of the day we all treated ourselves to a well deserved dip in the Indian to wash and generally cool down. As with any venture in to the ocean it’s accompanied by the usual feeling of trepidation as you have no idea what lurks beneath but being the macho man i am i let Pete dive in first to give the all clear – his military background surely makes him better equipped in shark warfare, although given his fear of the flying fish (all 2 inches of it) i’m not convinced. Pete wins the award for best ocean entry with his dazzling display of a reverse head stand semi somersault, all very impressive for a man of his age and definitely appreciated by Gandulph who made a swoop over our beam dipping his wing in what i assume was approval. Having been given the all clear i was in like lightning full of fighting talk, and then was out again within seconds!
Tom and Matt ventured in after their next shift and where Pete’s entrance was impressive in its finesse Tom’s was impressive for its impact – all day we had been travelling at little more than 1.5 knots but get Tom to dive in and suddenly the waves were pushing us on at around 3 knots...let’s just say he’s hardly what you would call a leaping salmon. Naturally Tom was naked so Matthew wisely decided to go in the other side of the boat, presumably hoping that all sea life would be attracted to the commotion going on the other side. Matt adopted more of a John Smith’s ‘top bombing’ technique, presumably thinking that if there was anything beneath then this would surely scare them off...not a bad strategy to be fair. What was quite amazing was that no more than 10 mins after Matt and Tom had dried off we spotted a whale almost exactly where Tom had been. Perhaps, i thought, the force and impact of Tom’s flop in to the water had awoken the whales from the deep to come and check out this other whale in their territory. Anyway a great sight and it was followed up by another spotting some 15 minutes later...sadly i missed both so I am still having to cling on to the early (day 1) sighting of dolphins as my sole encounter with any form of sea life.
Last night was another tough one. Still no wind to speak of and currents which were at best weak, once again making rowing very sluggish. The nights don’t seem to be getting any easier although time spent rowing with one eye open and one shut are getting less as the body starts to accept the 3 hours sleep. One major breakthrough for me today was the discovery of the moccachino, courtesy of Pete who cooked (?) one up for our final night shift thinking it might help us through the tiredness. This my friends proved to be a revelation and where 20 days prior i have been literally dead man rowing during this shift last night i was like a super charged ...umm rower. Yes i know it’s a bit posh but i can live with that if it means getting through the pain. Can’t say i have ever seen moccachino on the menu of any other ocean rower and doubt it will make it in to the 101 of endurance athletes recommended diets but for those of you who know me you’ll know that i’ve never been entirely normal so why change now! Anyway thanks to Pete for bringing a new lease of life to my night time rowing...it just about makes up for your lack of effort on the oars (joke).
So another day done and another day closer to the big M! Yesterday we only covered 48 miles which given the conditions wasn’t too bad but today i fear will be less. That said we’re going to do some more work on the rails tomorrow in the hope we can get something up and running to help us motor over any future calm waters.
More later...over and out from somewhere on the Indian.

Day 20
Last night was particularly calm which made for a tough night on the oars with very little assistance from the outside forces. This morning we were once again greeted by sunshine and seas that can best be described as messy. Temperatures climbed in to the early 30’s by 10am and got to approx 34 by midday, with winds moderate to light from NE direction.
The news yesterday had clearly rocked the team and you could tell the strain of the situation was starting to tell as spirits were low and humour in short supply – that’s all relative compared to the normal jocular attitude of this motley crew. The severity of the situation was such that if the power didn’t return then it would either spell the end to our campaign or we were in for a very uncomfortable 60 odd days of hand pumping. Last night we had all but polished off the 10 litres of ballast so we decided to break in to a second bottle to help get us through to mid afternoon by which time we hoped to have produced enough by hand to take us through the rest of the day/night. With that in mind it was agreed that each shift would pump for 1 hour after their 2 hour stint on the oars, leaving 1 hour to eat, wash (‘fous fous’ our backsides and other parts that needed ‘fous fousing’) and rest before it was back to the oars. Yes this was going to be hell but it’s all just part of this magnificent journey and would surely make finishing all the sweeter.
The reality was our water maker whilst being very flash just pulled too much power for the solar panels to cope especially given all the other equipment such as GPS, VHF, phone etc the boat – so what we gained in terms of weight and looks (she was by far and away the lightest model in the market...and might i say very good looking...oh dear i think i need to get off this boat) we lost in terms of the power it drained. This was yet another valuable lesson for our next ocean crossing (only joking mum). Anyway some 8 hours later and we had filed the 20 odd litres we set out to replenish and with any luck the ‘guns’ might have grown a bit in the process (those are biceps in case you were wondering!). On that note a very special tank you to Simon Chalk and the Woodvale team for lending us the hand pump we have on board because it has literally saved our campaign as the one we have generates next to nothing yet takes forever.
All that aside we still managed to make reasonable progress if a little laboured given the impact of the added physicality of the hand pumping. Power had reached 50% but sadly this was still a long way off where it needed to be, so it would be another day of the same tomorrow. We did however reach another milestone today as we passed the 99 degrees longitude – Mauritius sits at 57 degrees and we started in Geraldton at 123 (i think) so we were well on our way across the map!
Last night was quiet, calm, very warm and boringly uneventful. The winds had dropped to almost nothing which made for exceptionally slow progress. However rather that than some of the filth we had in weeks 1 & 2...although i appreciate it doesn’t make for as interesting a read but then unless we are taking part in the filming of some scene from a remake of The Truman Show then that doesn’t matter! At times it really does feel like we are in some kind of reality/Truman esk set up where viewers have the power to vote by pressing the ‘red’ button on their TV remote to vote for what will go wrong next! To be fair we have no idea what the other teams are going through but one thing’s for sure, we’re still in the race and very grateful for that fact...Glenda we love you.
Sea life update: absolutely nothing to report, infact less than nothing because not even a bird today! Nothing to see apart from mile upon mile of nothing, just sea and sky, sea and sky for ever and ever and ever.  Even Gary seems to have left us...even after we offered him some nuts.
Apologies if we haven’t acknowledged any of your messages but i will endeavour to do so at some point,  as soon as we get things back up and running. Please keep the messages coming in because we loooooooove reading them – we can’t access them at the moment due to the power drama but when we can they will provide the most enormous pick up for us all especially during those night shifts.
p.s seat/slider update is that we are working on two potential solutions but they have had to be put on hold while we juggle the rowing and the pumping but we hope to be trialling the prototypes over the next 2 days. On that note a massive thank you to all those who have emailed with technique advice on the ‘look no legs’ rowing style, especially Dan (ex Atlantic man) who has potentially saved us all from some severe back trauma – also i should just clarify that when i say ‘we’ what i really mean is Tom and Pete with a bit of help form Matt because my input has been pathetic...but then in thought we could just attach some bungy straps and off we could go (one day i will explain my logic but now’s not the time). The reality is i only have chicken legs so this no rail business isn’t really a big loss for me, although i did spend many a painful hour at the hands of the Bodytech Viaduct team building up my sparrow legs in to chicken legs so wouldn’t mind the opportunity to try them out!
Over and out for now...stick with us we’ve got the girls in our sights...i think

Day 19 – Black Thursday
Today was a bit of a D-Day for us and another important crossroads in our campaign as the power had now got so low that we couldn’t produce enough water to keep us going or run any of the other on board electrics – put simply without power you have no desalinator and without a desalinator you have no water which means no power (physical that is) and ultimately your race is then run.
This was crisis point for us, far more so than the problem with the seats or any of the other snags we’ve had so far, all of which are problematic but which you can invariably find a way around, or at least a compromise to get you to the end however uncomfortable that may be. Consequently we put a call in to Chris Richardson, our resident sparky back in NZ who had effectively wired the boat for us to see if he had any suggestions, and also just to check if the reading we were being given was actually correct. Sadly our worst fears came true and Chris told us it was all working properly but we simply were not generating enough charge from the solar panels to refuel our power requirements – this was not helped by the fact we were constantly pushing West thereby negating 50% of the potential power from one of our 3 panels which was permanently in the shade (this boat was not custom made for the Indian so where some boats had their panels facing the sun ours were all flat packed to the curvature of the cabin roofs which meant they would never all be in 100% sun light. Ho hum not much we can do about that and not even the Power Monkey could help this wee drama.
After the phone call we had a team meeting to discuss our options and once again work out how we could resolve this situation. The reality is we only had one option and that was to turn everything off for 2-3 days in the hope of getting enough power back and just hope and pray we hadn’t done too much damage to the batteries already. We also accepted that the only way forward in the short term was to start hand pumping again until we could use the water maker again, although with night falling this would have to wait until the morning, which meant we needed some water to get us through the next 12 hours. Consequently we made the call to break in to some of our ballast. All teams had to carry 200 litres of compulsory ballast water and out of this teams were allowed to drink/use 50 litres without a penalty. Ballast is there to help ensure the boat self rights, so it’s with good reason you carry it and any that we used needed to be replaced for safety reasons. Breaking in to the ballast is psychologically quite a big thing and this was a big call for us but a logical one...infact the only option given we had to drink, but it still leaves you nervous that you’ve broken in to the sacred ballast which always sparks so much controversy!
We also adjusted our course slightly to try and bring all solar panels in to play which wasn’t the most efficient route but none the less we needed to up the power.
All that aside it was a glorious day on the ocean with temperatures up around 32 degrees, winds light South Easterly and we heard the exciting news from Bex that we had clocked up 59.67 miles in the last 24 hours, the most of any team! So whilst it was all doom and gloom on the power front at least we were making good headway. Tomorrow we would start the hand pumping and then it was a case of holding our breaths and hoping to goodness that the power would return and water would once again be on tap. Never before have i valued the simple resource of water quite lie this and i will think twice about ever throwing s glass away again...